Ironically, you got me hooked on Life is Feudal so your analogy rings truer than it might have normally. I'm taking off time from building my fief just to write this... probably a good thing. I look forward to the essay... but I'm looking for a reason to work out. It seems your reason is 'ultimate overall fitness.' Is it that anyone who is 'life affirming' should be working out and extending their life span (even if they aren't afraid to perish)? I say this and I have been into fitness, well, bodybuilding for a long time, often working out one to one-and-a-half hours per day, five days per week (however not during lockdown). In this case, working out on 'strength' takes away from everything else.
But it is like you said: every fitness program is superior to others, and further, every fat ass and out of shape person you meet has an opinion. If people ask me my opinions on working out, I generally shut down, otherwise I'll get into some debate about water, or running for God's sake, with someone who clearly hasn't lifted consistently in their entire life.
You also got me to watch Shot Caller. The protagonist in that movie had to start working out because his life literally depended on it (and maybe because what else does one do in prison). Even as I write this, I feel I am going to get reamed out because I am not imposing my fitness will on the world, lol.